Executive Speech Writing: Corporate, Celebrity, Fundraisers

Friday, February 1, 2008

Snow & Captain America Born Again (Eh?)

The snow is unbelievable. I've seen more snow, but this much and at such an inconvenient time. My regulars stayed home today. Oh, the train commuters and workaholics are in, but the salary girls, the work-a-days, the project managers - all home.

It is shooting me in the foot. A few flakes and I'm not selling papers. The politics are picking up, so I'm thinking I'll see a few more sellable headlines as the primaries close in on Chitown.

The News
You might think the news is politics, but frustrated voters are getting tired of the hogwash coming at them.

Bobby Fischer died, but that's old news now, and you knew that.

Drew Peterson is looking less guilty if the photos that look like his missing wife Stacy are really her. If those photos are Stacy, there will be big apologies to Drew. If they are not, and worse yet, Photoshopped, then Drew will look more guilty than ever.

Amy Winehouse is living up to her name.

Don't ask illiterates Kelly Pickler or Charlize Theron where Hungary is. Two girls just picking up a paycheck in short skirts, two salary girls smiling and grinning with nothing but peanuts inside their head.

The real news is almost big. Bucky, the late Captain America's protege and sidekick, is doing Captain duty. He is taking over the job of protecting America's values.

"Ain't that America" John Mellencamp would say. It's true. That's America. When a good man gets shot down, another man stands in his place. To the patsies in Iraq fighting the US soldiers: we're not done. We leave no man behind, and we stand with those standing for justice.

> Capt. America was dead
>
he's being buried
> We
seemed to care then.

Captain America Comes Back From the Dead

Captain America's alter-ego, Steve Rogers, is still resting in peace at Arlington National Cemetery, having been done in by assassins last March. But his good buddy and sidekick from the 1940s, Bucky Barnes, has picked up the bulletproof Captain America shield, put on a new uniform and taken his place.

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