Executive Speech Writing: Corporate, Celebrity, Fundraisers

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Best of 2007 Nonsense, Fat Guy I Know, Death of Bhutto, Patriots Victory

A new year is coming, and somehow, within the ticking of a clock, 2007 becomes a sentimental land of whim and misty-eyed baloney. Give me a break. My papers, every one of them, are going to be filled with Best of 2007 nonsense. True, looking back has merit, but we'll do it as it is a history lesson.

You know the sort which gets into this. Imagine the scene: a party, everyone is having a great time, and some bonehead needs to pull out his or her cell phone and snap some pictures. That's fine, except for the part in which they show them to everyone immediately.


Are we having a better time because you can show me what happened :30 earlier? What's wrong with enjoying right now, rather than reminscing about a minute ago. Give me people, not pictures of people. I want real relationships, not virtual ones.

Speaking of real people, I must tell you about this former fat guy I know. He's keeping a blog about how he is losing (present tense) 60 pounds. Hopefully, he's losing 80, but he has lost 60 so far, and he'll be the first to tell you it isn't one of those things that gets checked off his list, and then onto some new thing. His Christmas post, for example: Christmas Time: I Didn't Gain Weight Like Everyone Else is straight to the point. No bones about how fat gets dropped. Not bad for one year. Congratulations, David Dane!

I'm as fit as untuned fiddle, so I'm not in a position to lose 80. If I did, I'd be up in Stroger Hospital of Cook County before I knew it. No one wants to go there. You gotta go there, and who knows what will happen. It is hardly known for great bedside manner or nurses who give a rip. Too many people I know have stepped in there thinking they cared, but found better service in a 7-11.

Thank you. Come again.

Good nurses? All over the place. BroMenn Healthcare in Bloomington-Normal is one place. Great folks there. Luckily, I've been blessed without much need for medical care, but my day will come. Can't hawk newspapers forever.

The News
It was the best of weeks. It was the worst of weeks.

Bhutto's son, husband to be co-leaders of party
Some ignoramus pig assassinated Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto. She's the woman trying to stick a little freedom into Pakistan. The Muslim suck-ups to Al Qaida took her down like the little whiny schoolyard thugs they are. They know if the Pakistanis are allowed to choose, they'll want something better than Shariah law. They'll want to live more like I do: work hard, pray to the God of my choosing (and let me tell you, He isn't Allah), and not be forced to bow to their dog.

Old Osama bin Laden's crew can't handle freedom. He's a rich guy, lives anyone he pleases. Puts up a front for his lackeys, but, in reality, isn't a man of peace. He makes George Bush look like a pacifist.

Either way, seems her hubby and kid are stepping up. Hubby has a bad rep of corruption, but hopefully he can do some damage to the patsies trying to steal freedom from the Pakistani people.

Go ahead, choose Islam. It is a free country here. I'll respect your ability to worship whomever you please. But don't force me to. You can't. I will not bow.

Perfect Pats: New England Makes It 16-0
Good news here. Not of course to Chicago Bears fans, but they lost the season after the first coin toss. The Patriots did good, and I think every football fan should tip their hat to them. These guys are Pats, not patsies.

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